Thursday, August 2, 2007

A Relationship with Self

Last night when I sat for my regular meditation suddenly a thought entered my mind. What is a relationship? How are we connected to one another? Are we together for some purpose? Surely there has to be some reason why God made us all meet each other and get closer. Why those ‘particular’ parents, friends, colleagues, superiors so on and so forth… We are all destined to fulfill our duties and play our roles well agreed, but hey! Do we know who we are? Are we the same when we are with our parents at home watching TV as compared to when with friends at a party or a college canteen? Do we behave in a similar manner with our youngest sibling as compared to that with an elder? If we dive more into this thought we come across a fact, we are different people at different times! We play multiple roles and therefore have multiple personalities.

Day before yesterday one of my coworker came in to collect some documents from me. We were sitting on the couch and discussing something till my younger sister came in with her friends. She and her friends wanted to watch some TV show and asked us to leave the room. Having politely told her to give us 5 more minutes she refused and we ended up in a tiff. I ended that conversation with my sister somehow; swearing will never see her again. Got back with my coworker who keeps on praising me incessantly for some strange reason and forgot if something had happened till the time my sister came in again and grumbled, “You can talk nicely with her but never with me. You are so bad”. This struck me hard. Just a second before my coworker was praising me and the very next moment my own sister comes in and complains. You see this difference? Being the same me, two different people had two different opinions about me. I am sure this happens with one and all. Is it the situation that is to be blamed or our mind-set, our mood or our perception?

There are two things: what am I really and what others think I am?
Am I “good” as my coworker thinks or am I “bad” as my sister believes? Am I “nervous” as that guy believes or am I “friendly” and “extrovert” as my friend sees me? Or am I beyond all this perceptions? Well this is life! The search of the real “I”


angel from heaven said...

I think this all stems to you wear a different face with different people ,there is nothing wrong, just as you would wear jeans at a casual event and saree at a formal as it is that you behave formal with collegues and drop your front with family and friends ie those closest and dearest to you hence your behavious changes.That does not make you a bad person in any way.

falguk said...

OMG! angel..ur reply is so clear and exactly what i wantd to hear wen i was writin this... :)
the example of wearin cauals and formals at diff ocassions is sooooooo perfect... :) wow...appreciate ur valuable feedback.. :)

pratik said...

i think angel had said everything :)...i just wanted to say it's a it happens with everyone!!!

Angel Eyes said...

One shorthand term for this 'I' is this 'Self' whose nature we want to know is 'Mind'.

Our Mind is our feelings, Memories and out thoughts. Mind is infact architect of this inner magic theatre where we enact the drama of our lives, and like any theatre it includes both the action on-stage and off-stage, the actors and the playwrights, the conscious mind that thinks and knows that it thinks, and the unconscious mind that moves in quite different hidden ways.

So to know ourselves, to know who we are, is in my view to know our own minds, both at conscious and unconscious levels.

- Hitarth