Size matters!

I need help! Help in understanding what is it that 'actually' constitutes a personality? Is it the looks or the being...the person that you really are!?! Not many years ago I was a size S and people loved me and accpeted me the way I am! I had no problem what so ever in selecting clothes, making friends, feeling confident about myself etc. Was all that acceptance because I was size 'S'?? Today I am 'XL' look not really very different but yes there is a change...does this mean I am no longer lovable or acceptable? does this mean my personality which once you used to find charming isnt charming anymore? so what if I belong to the healthier side of the world ;) There is beauty in every 'fat' person on this earth!
I might no longer be the most attractive lady in the room but yes I have what it takes to differentiate myself from others and that is my heart and my confidence. Confidence does not emerge from a magic number on the scale or from the compliments of others. Confidence comes through you and you alone. No one can give it to you.
Therefore here I am confident wearing an "XL" t-shirt, feeling good and ready to take over the world!

When I say sorry

When I say sorry, you say its okay....
When I say sorry, you say I am not in a mood to talk right now....
When I say sorry, you say I dont mean it.....
When I say sorry, you say I will repeat the same thing in few days....

WHY??? Why is it not always okay...why are you not in a mood to talk...why do u think I dont mean it....why do you think I'll repeat the same thing again...WHY??

I guess its because of my behaviour...may be I am really repeating the same mistakes....may be I havent improved at all...but does this mean I am bad, or that I have lost the right to say and actually feel sorry for stuff I do?

Shopping Emotions!!

8.00 am in the morning a friend calls saying 'Columbus Day is nearing and there is a BIG sale going on everywhere. when are we going?' How tempting? ;) I am sure all the shopaholics are bracing themselves and rushing towards the nearest mall to check out the "Big Sale"....And joining the league is ME!
But wait! Do I really need something? The answer is "NO", nothing at all. There is absolutely nothing right now that I don't have or cant do without...you know why? coz the Labor Day weekend was just a few weeks before and I had done truck loads of shopping then,obviously for no reason again...Oh wait! yeah I had a reason...'SALE'....
Human nature is so funny or may I say its just us the Females...I really don't know why do we have such urges... We can shop for any and every reason and most of the times for no reason. However, I have observed that only after unloading the shopping truck at home do we realize how much of this stuff is NOT AT ALL required. If not that time, we realize when we are cleaning the room or as in my case only while MOVING ;)I have clothes I bought when I was size 6 and now I have become more than double that size and most of the size 6 clothes still remain untouched lying on my head with a label saying 'when-will-I-get-to-get-out-from-the-closet'... We never realize how much we end up spending with these sales coming up almost every month....I am forced to believe that more than 'shopping emotions' we indulge ourselves in 'emotion shopping'...when we are upset or mad at someone....we shop
when we just want to spend sometime with ourselves...we shop
when we want to spend time with our friends... we shop...
shopping seems to be the answer we have for every emotion...every occasion...

Hopefully we overcome this fever soon and start saving some green...especially this time around when we definitely aren't getting any bail-out money ands our taxes are only increasing!!